New godamn moon

Ok, so this movie I had to watch in two parts, but I did make it through on the first try. It almost lost me at about the 20 minute mark, but I suffered on through it. Now for your viewing pleasure, the first 20 minutes play-by-play, followed by the aftermath review.

Twilight- new moon (play-by-play)

This is a horrible Idea, no idea why I am doing this.

ok, strange dream sequence where Bela is dreaming about being an old woman while edward is still young (WHY THE HELL DO I KNOW THEIR NAMES?!!?!)

ok, awkward "happy birthday" moment.

Her friends are still douchebags. no surprise.

Edward slow-mo walks from his car, like the tool that he is.

Making out in the parking lot. Wtf?!?! she actually moans and is out of breath. Christ.

random Indian guy. Jacob I think is his name. Awkwardly hits on Bela in front of her boyfriend. Classy.

"You give me everything just by breathing" That has got to be the lamest line ever.

Ok, prophetic girl, totally hot, slight upswing to this whole thing.

Class is watching a black and white movie, the girls are going Emo.

Ok, goddamnitt Edward!! You are watching Romeo and Juliet and complaining that he can't commit suicide like most people.

And now he's quoting the movie and everyone is staring at him. What a goddamn douchebag.

Ok, so he apparently needs to killed by vampire elders to commit suicide.

Bela, yet again asks him to turn her, he yet again refuses because he feels like he'll be less of a man if she were suddenly able to defend herself.

Bela gets a papercut, Edward and Jasper flip out, Edward throws Bela across the room, slicing open her goddamn arm. Tiny blood mess turned into huge blood mess. way to go douchebag.

Ok, 20 minutes into this and I can't bear to pay this much attention to it. Stopping play by play now.

**********************
Ok, started up again the next day. Dear god this movie is frustrating. Every so often an actual endearing moment occurs, then they fuck it up.

I will say however that the movie is significantly better in the second half, Edward breaks up with Bela and we get a wonderful half the movie where Edward frigging Cullen is blissfully absent. We instead hang out with Jacob. The indian boy turned werewolf, who also for unknown reasons falls in love with Bela.

So she's been ditched by Edward, has man-meat Jacob hitting on her constantly, and like a self righteous Rube she can't get over Edward. It's seriously the most irritating thing about this movie. You can tell that the film makers did a reasonable job trying to polish the horseshit into a diamond, but it's still shit.

The majority of the character still make no sense, ALL of the stars are people you want to punch in the face, I will say that the characters of the Cullen family and the werewolf tribe were much better written than the two leads. Hell, even Bela's dad had some really well written pieces of dialogue.

So yea, I do not recommend this to anyone, if you are already a fan of the franchise then there is nothing I can do for you. Everyone else, I will say I liked this movie better than the previous Twilight installment, but it's really like asking "would you prefer to have bull shit or cow shit rubbed on your face?" It's mostly a matter of preference, and not really an important one at that.

This movie had less Edward Cullen, which I liked, but more emo Bela, which I didn't like. For me, the tiebreaker was the werewolves. With the exception of emo-boy Jacob, the werewolves are pretty cool.

apologies my readers, it's been awhile.

Ok, I haven't posted since September, so in penance I promise to actually watch the new Twilight film at some point and review it for you all.
There you go, I suffer so you don't have to.

Eventually I will post an article discussing the state of American economics and the job market, but I don't have the brain power for that right now.

So you get a review of a new TV series.

"V"
TV show takes place in present-day, and is just aawful.
Basic premise is that suddenly aliens arrive at earth and claim to be peaceful and such but end up being ruthless conquerors.
Normally the whole "we're here to take over your planet" thing would be revealed later in the series. Nope, Pilot episode, all of the secrets are revealed.
Not only do they reveal it to the audience, they reveal it to the characters too. So now instead of a series about tracking conspiracy, it's a show about a cast of "Cassandra's" (Greek prophet who was doomed to see the future but have no-one believe her).
This is a premise that is tired before the show even gets going. It's like if "X-Files" had been a show about two civilians who knew that aliens existed are were anally probing everyone, but nobody believed them. Seriously, here's the dialogue for the whole series:
Whackjobs: "Dude! There are totally aliens out there!"
Everyone else: "Yea, sure whatever."
Whackjobs: "No seriously! They are out there and they are trying to anally rape us."
Everyone else: "(awkward laugh) yea, no, you need to go away now."
Whackjobs: "They really Do! I have Alien Love-Juice in my anus right now!"
Everyone else: (Calls security, police, FBI, Aliens, goddamn anyone to get these people away from them and locked up in a looney bin)

So yea, Skip "V", it's been done before, and better. This is literally the movie "Species" but with more aliens.