Adventureland of Fail.

So, I watched "Adventureland" today, and per usual, I suffer so you may all avoid the same fate.
Some of your friends may tell you that it's a good movie.

These are Not your friends. They are crazy goddamn aliens in your friend's body's.

Do not trust these pod-people, they lie.

The movie was awful, in every way.
Even Ryan Reynolds couldn't save that movie, in fact they wrote his character so poorly that it actually made the movie worse for having to watch him act so poorly.

The only highlights from the movie are the scenes with Bill Hader, and you saw all of those in the commercials.

Basic plot rundown:
The year is 1979, James, our douchebag "Im so awkwardly successful" main character just finished up his under-grad, and is now in the summer before grad school. He had planned to go to europe with his buddy before moving to New York, but his dad gets demoted at work and the family can no longer afford his trip, nor college, so he goes to work at the local seasonal theme park where he meets the rest of the characters.

Now a couple things to clarify:
1- James (Jesse Eisenberg) is actually playing the part of Michael Cera. If you've seen "Superbad", it's the same goddamn character. And guess what? both movies were directed by the same douche.
2- The entire group dynamic is exactly the same as "Waiting" also with Ryan Reynolds, however Reynolds was funny in that one.

That being said, the movie progresses with James getting involved with Emily (Kristen Stewart) who is in turn involved with Connel (Reynolds). This horrifying love triangle continues for most of the movie until absolutely everything goes wrong, Em runs to New York, and James eventually follows her and apologizes even though she was entirely to blame for all of his problems. At this point in the movie, everyone's life is significantly more fucked than they were at the beginning of the film, and the only improvement is that James is no longer a virgin.

The whole movie was yet another cluster-fuck piece of garbage where the writer proclaims "Isn't this specific piece of American coming-of-age entirely different from the other 30 American coming-of-age stories that came out in the last 2 years?!?!"

Seriously, I can give you the short list now:
Nick and Norah's infinite playlist
Superbad
Twilight
4 months, 3 weeks, & 2 days
Be kind, rewind
A complete history of my sexual failures
Juno

And those are just the obvious ones.

All of these movies have the same bullshit premise: "Im your average everyday normal American, and a rather statistically normal event happens to me, and I feel my normal adaptation to these normal problems is somehow worthy of a movie."

Seriously? Wtf? Juno= Teenage pregnancy. So common it's not even funny.
Adventureland= tight finances causing younger members of a family to need to get a summer job.

None of these things are at all surprising and they are all beyond cliche'.

Do yourself a favor, skip this piece of hollywood crap. If you actually watch it, you'll want those 100 minutes of your life back.

Being Avante-garde is a game of who is fucking with whom.

Trolls.
The mean face of the Internet, they slide in every location and spread anger and mean spirits.

But here is the problem folks, we are the trolls.
They didn't spontaneously come into existence in the early 90's at the early stages of web forums. These people were already here, they were just afraid to act for fear of reprisal.

All people want to feel powerful and bigger than they are, Trolling lets an average person gain above average control over another person's life. It's like the way prank calling was back in the earlier days, except more people troll because there is much less chance of being recognized or caught. I could troll all of my friends, and they would never know it was me.

Think about it people, how many of you have entered a anonymous forum with the intent of starting a fight? How many of you have developed a reputation on user-name forums for being a trouble starter?

Most of us have. Even my father has. There is no way to fight the trolls because we are the trolls. As long as people feel powerless in their own lives, there will be trolls.

But here's where things get confusing. If everyone is a troll, how you tell who is trolling whom?

The standard rule of the internet is the first person pointed out has having been "trolled" is the rube, the other the troll. But, if outcomes reverse and the other person is referred to as a troll first, does that change the fact that the first person was trolling?

Nope, not really. The only way to tell who has been trolled can't really be measured, it's a big game of "you rage you lose" but with both sides shrouded in obscurity. So the game continues until someone yields or both sides get bored.

Not the greatest of past-times, but anything to give us a sense of control in our lives.

(Side note: been busy, will attempt to get back into a regular posting schedule. Short story series is in the works, but not ready for posting yet. Will keep everyone updated.)