So I missed a week so you get two reviews.
Transformers: Revenge of the fallen.
Liked it, but I also liked the first one. It fufills the Michael Bay explosions quota but still managed to have something resembling a plot.
Some things to look for:
Super-Saiyan Optimus Prime
Angry ancient robot scottish man
RCx3
Wheelie
Some things to piss you off:
Characters not being named (Ratchet who?)
Sam being an emo bastard
Sam's parent's being retarded
Characters disappearing
The "Twins" super annoying for most of the film
If you liked the first one you will like this one. Don't go in expecting it to be anything but a Michael special effects action film.
Dickie Roberts: Former child star
I was surprised by this one. I threw it on expecting crap (It is david spade afterall) and was pleasantly surprised.
Especially considering the recent celebrity deaths, I think most viewers would find this movie rather topical and even slightly uplifting. If you hate children this is not the film for you as they are featured heavily in the story. But also surprisingly someone managed to write children in a less than retarded way. Usually writers seem to have forgotten what it was like to be a kid, and most dialogue of children in movies just sounds like a dumbed down version of what an adult would say. The kids in this movie were very well written, they clearly behave like kids, but they were actually much more believable than David Spade.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Suffering in Twilight
Greetings my lovely readers, apologies for the lack of content for awhile, real life got in the way.
Now onto the subject at hand.
Your humble jester was feeling slightly masochistic last night and subjected himself to the movie Twilight based on the book of the same name. I've never read the book, but I had read a number of sources about it so that I would be aware of what I was getting myself into.
I was not prepared.
The movie follows Bela, a 17 year old Arizona girl who moves up to the Pacific northwest when her mother marries a minor league baseball player. No thought is given to why this 40-something year old woman is married to a professional athlete, nor why if the athlete is near her age that he'd still be professional near the end of his career.
But I digress, Bela is a awkward clumsy blank slate of a character, who somehow manages to maintain her strong forceful personality while not actually having a personality to be forceful about. Although she is supposedly plain and awkward, she instantly becomes the most popular girl in school. All the boys want to date her, all the girls want to be her. Rather than follow the normal progression and date one of her numerous suitors, she instead becomes obsessed with a boy who her only interaction with resulted in awkward silence and rudeness.
At this point the movie has truly lost interest for me, but I continued on with my torture.
After an endless montage of scenes where nothing happens, the viewers are shown that the boy in question is Edward, and that he is a vampire. His family of vampires are all incestious, yet somehow nobody really seems to care, nor notice the fact that each of the children has graduated Highschool atleast 10 times.
Which begs the question, If you are a 300 year old predator, why on god's green earth would you continue to subject yourself to highschool? All of them portrayed the mentality of 20-something individuals, much like the actors who played them, so it really makes no sense. I suppose it might allow the family another couple years of living in one spot before they needed to move again, but at most they'd have a decade before their lack of aging started looking suspicious.
I'll skip over all of the scenes that show off the vampire's powers, mainly because we've all seen vampire movies before and the powers don't really change, the one that was very strange was the infamous "sparkle" scene. Edward shows Bela what he looks like in the sunlight, a bizarre slightly sparkley mess. She tells him he looks beautiful, he responds that it's the skin of a killer.
This brings us to the numer one problem in the series. Edward is a useless character. He is not interesting in the slightest, all he does is show off special effects and alot of awkward brooding.
There is only one kissing scene in the movie and it ends abruptly because Edward can't stop himself from trying to eat Bela.
Bela, like any sane person, realizes that for her to truly be a part of Edward's life and for them to have a real relationship that doesn't involve him flinging himself across the room whenever they kiss, nor her being a liability for the family, that she needs to become a vampire.
If you've already suspended your disbelief enough to get this far into the movie, this is the part that will still make you angry. All the other vampires including his family voice their opinions that as a human she is a liability, rather than accept the obvious, Edward petutantly demands that if she really loves him, she'd be happy with living a mortal life alongside him. And the author reveals her failings when Bela replies "yea, ok, whatever you say crazy stalker man" (note: that is not what she actually said, but it was what was added to the dialogue in my mind damnitt).
But the real reason behind her not being turned into a vampire, is that without her being a mortal, the story would end. Edward is specifically attracted to her mortal qualities. He loves watching her sleep, eat, etc. He finds her human weakness adorable, and he really gets off being the knight in shining armor who comes in to rescue her constantly. If she were turned into a vampire, he'd no longer be interested in her.
Not that I'd complain, he was the least interesting character in the whole movie. A good author would take this horrifying piece of shit and turn it into "the adventures of Bela, the newb vampire". She'd have about a decade worth of content in her old life before she would need to sever ties with her birth family, all in all, might be a worthwhile story. But no, Edward refuses to let her turn into a vampire. The deed was done by an enemy vampire, and he undid it, against her expressed wishes.
The movie did have some good points, Bela played match maker with all the boys who wanted to date her and all the girls who wanted to be her. They were all insufferable characters, but atleast they got happy endings and stayed out of the plot as much as possible. Also the relationship between Bela and her father was relatively well done. It was actually one of the few relationships in the movie that was believable (the other being the relationship between Edward's "mother" and "father").
The last two gripes that I need to express on this movie are about the nature of Bela. All of the vampires describe her as smelling especially good, but never explain why that is. Edward is also able to read the minds of every character in the movie, with the exception of Bela, and it is never explained either.
Overall review:
AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COSTS!
Seriously, the dialogue is so asinine that you will be wanting to stab your ears with anything nearby within a couple minutes. I think I may have developed a tumor in my left ear as a natural defense mechanism to this movie. None of the characters are particularly likeable, and none of the plot makes any sense. The only scene that was even remotely amusing was the Vampire Baseball scene, and that is only because we've never had a movie before where vampires played baseball.
I don't understand how this movie was as popular as it was, the whole thing makes zero sense. I guess I have just been putting too much faith in the intelligence of my fellow man.
There you go readers, I have suffered through yet another movie so that you don't have to. Last time I demanded cookies for my suffering, this time I expect volunteers to come play "who wants to give Jarriet a hummer and a burrito?" Many will enter, and I'll win. (Note: "Who wants to give Regdar a hummer and a burrito?" is not my creation, that is one from the lovely folks at http://creativejuices7.ning.com/ )
Now onto the subject at hand.
Your humble jester was feeling slightly masochistic last night and subjected himself to the movie Twilight based on the book of the same name. I've never read the book, but I had read a number of sources about it so that I would be aware of what I was getting myself into.
I was not prepared.
The movie follows Bela, a 17 year old Arizona girl who moves up to the Pacific northwest when her mother marries a minor league baseball player. No thought is given to why this 40-something year old woman is married to a professional athlete, nor why if the athlete is near her age that he'd still be professional near the end of his career.
But I digress, Bela is a awkward clumsy blank slate of a character, who somehow manages to maintain her strong forceful personality while not actually having a personality to be forceful about. Although she is supposedly plain and awkward, she instantly becomes the most popular girl in school. All the boys want to date her, all the girls want to be her. Rather than follow the normal progression and date one of her numerous suitors, she instead becomes obsessed with a boy who her only interaction with resulted in awkward silence and rudeness.
At this point the movie has truly lost interest for me, but I continued on with my torture.
After an endless montage of scenes where nothing happens, the viewers are shown that the boy in question is Edward, and that he is a vampire. His family of vampires are all incestious, yet somehow nobody really seems to care, nor notice the fact that each of the children has graduated Highschool atleast 10 times.
Which begs the question, If you are a 300 year old predator, why on god's green earth would you continue to subject yourself to highschool? All of them portrayed the mentality of 20-something individuals, much like the actors who played them, so it really makes no sense. I suppose it might allow the family another couple years of living in one spot before they needed to move again, but at most they'd have a decade before their lack of aging started looking suspicious.
I'll skip over all of the scenes that show off the vampire's powers, mainly because we've all seen vampire movies before and the powers don't really change, the one that was very strange was the infamous "sparkle" scene. Edward shows Bela what he looks like in the sunlight, a bizarre slightly sparkley mess. She tells him he looks beautiful, he responds that it's the skin of a killer.
This brings us to the numer one problem in the series. Edward is a useless character. He is not interesting in the slightest, all he does is show off special effects and alot of awkward brooding.
There is only one kissing scene in the movie and it ends abruptly because Edward can't stop himself from trying to eat Bela.
Bela, like any sane person, realizes that for her to truly be a part of Edward's life and for them to have a real relationship that doesn't involve him flinging himself across the room whenever they kiss, nor her being a liability for the family, that she needs to become a vampire.
If you've already suspended your disbelief enough to get this far into the movie, this is the part that will still make you angry. All the other vampires including his family voice their opinions that as a human she is a liability, rather than accept the obvious, Edward petutantly demands that if she really loves him, she'd be happy with living a mortal life alongside him. And the author reveals her failings when Bela replies "yea, ok, whatever you say crazy stalker man" (note: that is not what she actually said, but it was what was added to the dialogue in my mind damnitt).
But the real reason behind her not being turned into a vampire, is that without her being a mortal, the story would end. Edward is specifically attracted to her mortal qualities. He loves watching her sleep, eat, etc. He finds her human weakness adorable, and he really gets off being the knight in shining armor who comes in to rescue her constantly. If she were turned into a vampire, he'd no longer be interested in her.
Not that I'd complain, he was the least interesting character in the whole movie. A good author would take this horrifying piece of shit and turn it into "the adventures of Bela, the newb vampire". She'd have about a decade worth of content in her old life before she would need to sever ties with her birth family, all in all, might be a worthwhile story. But no, Edward refuses to let her turn into a vampire. The deed was done by an enemy vampire, and he undid it, against her expressed wishes.
The movie did have some good points, Bela played match maker with all the boys who wanted to date her and all the girls who wanted to be her. They were all insufferable characters, but atleast they got happy endings and stayed out of the plot as much as possible. Also the relationship between Bela and her father was relatively well done. It was actually one of the few relationships in the movie that was believable (the other being the relationship between Edward's "mother" and "father").
The last two gripes that I need to express on this movie are about the nature of Bela. All of the vampires describe her as smelling especially good, but never explain why that is. Edward is also able to read the minds of every character in the movie, with the exception of Bela, and it is never explained either.
Overall review:
AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COSTS!
Seriously, the dialogue is so asinine that you will be wanting to stab your ears with anything nearby within a couple minutes. I think I may have developed a tumor in my left ear as a natural defense mechanism to this movie. None of the characters are particularly likeable, and none of the plot makes any sense. The only scene that was even remotely amusing was the Vampire Baseball scene, and that is only because we've never had a movie before where vampires played baseball.
I don't understand how this movie was as popular as it was, the whole thing makes zero sense. I guess I have just been putting too much faith in the intelligence of my fellow man.
There you go readers, I have suffered through yet another movie so that you don't have to. Last time I demanded cookies for my suffering, this time I expect volunteers to come play "who wants to give Jarriet a hummer and a burrito?" Many will enter, and I'll win. (Note: "Who wants to give Regdar a hummer and a burrito?" is not my creation, that is one from the lovely folks at http://creativejuices7.ning.com/ )
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Adventureland of Fail.
So, I watched "Adventureland" today, and per usual, I suffer so you may all avoid the same fate.
Some of your friends may tell you that it's a good movie.
These are Not your friends. They are crazy goddamn aliens in your friend's body's.
Do not trust these pod-people, they lie.
The movie was awful, in every way.
Even Ryan Reynolds couldn't save that movie, in fact they wrote his character so poorly that it actually made the movie worse for having to watch him act so poorly.
The only highlights from the movie are the scenes with Bill Hader, and you saw all of those in the commercials.
Basic plot rundown:
The year is 1979, James, our douchebag "Im so awkwardly successful" main character just finished up his under-grad, and is now in the summer before grad school. He had planned to go to europe with his buddy before moving to New York, but his dad gets demoted at work and the family can no longer afford his trip, nor college, so he goes to work at the local seasonal theme park where he meets the rest of the characters.
Now a couple things to clarify:
1- James (Jesse Eisenberg) is actually playing the part of Michael Cera. If you've seen "Superbad", it's the same goddamn character. And guess what? both movies were directed by the same douche.
2- The entire group dynamic is exactly the same as "Waiting" also with Ryan Reynolds, however Reynolds was funny in that one.
That being said, the movie progresses with James getting involved with Emily (Kristen Stewart) who is in turn involved with Connel (Reynolds). This horrifying love triangle continues for most of the movie until absolutely everything goes wrong, Em runs to New York, and James eventually follows her and apologizes even though she was entirely to blame for all of his problems. At this point in the movie, everyone's life is significantly more fucked than they were at the beginning of the film, and the only improvement is that James is no longer a virgin.
The whole movie was yet another cluster-fuck piece of garbage where the writer proclaims "Isn't this specific piece of American coming-of-age entirely different from the other 30 American coming-of-age stories that came out in the last 2 years?!?!"
Seriously, I can give you the short list now:
Nick and Norah's infinite playlist
Superbad
Twilight
4 months, 3 weeks, & 2 days
Be kind, rewind
A complete history of my sexual failures
Juno
And those are just the obvious ones.
All of these movies have the same bullshit premise: "Im your average everyday normal American, and a rather statistically normal event happens to me, and I feel my normal adaptation to these normal problems is somehow worthy of a movie."
Seriously? Wtf? Juno= Teenage pregnancy. So common it's not even funny.
Adventureland= tight finances causing younger members of a family to need to get a summer job.
None of these things are at all surprising and they are all beyond cliche'.
Do yourself a favor, skip this piece of hollywood crap. If you actually watch it, you'll want those 100 minutes of your life back.
Some of your friends may tell you that it's a good movie.
These are Not your friends. They are crazy goddamn aliens in your friend's body's.
Do not trust these pod-people, they lie.
The movie was awful, in every way.
Even Ryan Reynolds couldn't save that movie, in fact they wrote his character so poorly that it actually made the movie worse for having to watch him act so poorly.
The only highlights from the movie are the scenes with Bill Hader, and you saw all of those in the commercials.
Basic plot rundown:
The year is 1979, James, our douchebag "Im so awkwardly successful" main character just finished up his under-grad, and is now in the summer before grad school. He had planned to go to europe with his buddy before moving to New York, but his dad gets demoted at work and the family can no longer afford his trip, nor college, so he goes to work at the local seasonal theme park where he meets the rest of the characters.
Now a couple things to clarify:
1- James (Jesse Eisenberg) is actually playing the part of Michael Cera. If you've seen "Superbad", it's the same goddamn character. And guess what? both movies were directed by the same douche.
2- The entire group dynamic is exactly the same as "Waiting" also with Ryan Reynolds, however Reynolds was funny in that one.
That being said, the movie progresses with James getting involved with Emily (Kristen Stewart) who is in turn involved with Connel (Reynolds). This horrifying love triangle continues for most of the movie until absolutely everything goes wrong, Em runs to New York, and James eventually follows her and apologizes even though she was entirely to blame for all of his problems. At this point in the movie, everyone's life is significantly more fucked than they were at the beginning of the film, and the only improvement is that James is no longer a virgin.
The whole movie was yet another cluster-fuck piece of garbage where the writer proclaims "Isn't this specific piece of American coming-of-age entirely different from the other 30 American coming-of-age stories that came out in the last 2 years?!?!"
Seriously, I can give you the short list now:
Nick and Norah's infinite playlist
Superbad
Twilight
4 months, 3 weeks, & 2 days
Be kind, rewind
A complete history of my sexual failures
Juno
And those are just the obvious ones.
All of these movies have the same bullshit premise: "Im your average everyday normal American, and a rather statistically normal event happens to me, and I feel my normal adaptation to these normal problems is somehow worthy of a movie."
Seriously? Wtf? Juno= Teenage pregnancy. So common it's not even funny.
Adventureland= tight finances causing younger members of a family to need to get a summer job.
None of these things are at all surprising and they are all beyond cliche'.
Do yourself a favor, skip this piece of hollywood crap. If you actually watch it, you'll want those 100 minutes of your life back.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Being Avante-garde is a game of who is fucking with whom.
Trolls.
The mean face of the Internet, they slide in every location and spread anger and mean spirits.
But here is the problem folks, we are the trolls.
They didn't spontaneously come into existence in the early 90's at the early stages of web forums. These people were already here, they were just afraid to act for fear of reprisal.
All people want to feel powerful and bigger than they are, Trolling lets an average person gain above average control over another person's life. It's like the way prank calling was back in the earlier days, except more people troll because there is much less chance of being recognized or caught. I could troll all of my friends, and they would never know it was me.
Think about it people, how many of you have entered a anonymous forum with the intent of starting a fight? How many of you have developed a reputation on user-name forums for being a trouble starter?
Most of us have. Even my father has. There is no way to fight the trolls because we are the trolls. As long as people feel powerless in their own lives, there will be trolls.
But here's where things get confusing. If everyone is a troll, how you tell who is trolling whom?
The standard rule of the internet is the first person pointed out has having been "trolled" is the rube, the other the troll. But, if outcomes reverse and the other person is referred to as a troll first, does that change the fact that the first person was trolling?
Nope, not really. The only way to tell who has been trolled can't really be measured, it's a big game of "you rage you lose" but with both sides shrouded in obscurity. So the game continues until someone yields or both sides get bored.
Not the greatest of past-times, but anything to give us a sense of control in our lives.
(Side note: been busy, will attempt to get back into a regular posting schedule. Short story series is in the works, but not ready for posting yet. Will keep everyone updated.)
The mean face of the Internet, they slide in every location and spread anger and mean spirits.
But here is the problem folks, we are the trolls.
They didn't spontaneously come into existence in the early 90's at the early stages of web forums. These people were already here, they were just afraid to act for fear of reprisal.
All people want to feel powerful and bigger than they are, Trolling lets an average person gain above average control over another person's life. It's like the way prank calling was back in the earlier days, except more people troll because there is much less chance of being recognized or caught. I could troll all of my friends, and they would never know it was me.
Think about it people, how many of you have entered a anonymous forum with the intent of starting a fight? How many of you have developed a reputation on user-name forums for being a trouble starter?
Most of us have. Even my father has. There is no way to fight the trolls because we are the trolls. As long as people feel powerless in their own lives, there will be trolls.
But here's where things get confusing. If everyone is a troll, how you tell who is trolling whom?
The standard rule of the internet is the first person pointed out has having been "trolled" is the rube, the other the troll. But, if outcomes reverse and the other person is referred to as a troll first, does that change the fact that the first person was trolling?
Nope, not really. The only way to tell who has been trolled can't really be measured, it's a big game of "you rage you lose" but with both sides shrouded in obscurity. So the game continues until someone yields or both sides get bored.
Not the greatest of past-times, but anything to give us a sense of control in our lives.
(Side note: been busy, will attempt to get back into a regular posting schedule. Short story series is in the works, but not ready for posting yet. Will keep everyone updated.)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
You are Here.
Protip: folks. The key to finding happiness is finding your place in the universe.
This is not as hard as it may seem.
This process does not mean you need to find your "calling" the one and only job that will make you happy for the rest of your life. Not everyone can be James Bond, nor would everyone really want to.
The trick is to find the qualities that you feel define yourself.
I am a story teller. I may for part of my life tell stories for a living, but I will continue to tell them regardless of whether people pay me. In Olden times I might have been a bard or a traveling minstrel, but more likely I'd just be the farmer in town who likes to tell people stories down at the pub.
This is one of the qualities that defines who I am in the universe. There are others, but lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Once you find one of these qualities in yourself, you have discovered how to make yourself happy.
I tell my stories, preferably to an audience, but even to myself is enough to satisfy me.
Once you have one of these qualities figured out, next define your place in the universe by the company you keep. Think about the 5 people you spend the most time with. Those people in certain ways are reflections of you. You keep them around because they have qualities that you like, and these are most likely qualities that you have in yourself.
Try to isolate these qualities and you will discover further definitions of yourself.
One of my 5 most seen friends is a man who loves to start shit. He revels in making people uncomfortable and saying the outrageous.
Upon reflection, I see that to a lesser degree, I am much the same. I get joy from making certain people uncomfortable, I love causing trouble that I know won't affect me or anyone I care about in a significant way.
This is all you need in life, figure out what defines you and you will figure out what makes you happy.
This is not as hard as it may seem.
This process does not mean you need to find your "calling" the one and only job that will make you happy for the rest of your life. Not everyone can be James Bond, nor would everyone really want to.
The trick is to find the qualities that you feel define yourself.
I am a story teller. I may for part of my life tell stories for a living, but I will continue to tell them regardless of whether people pay me. In Olden times I might have been a bard or a traveling minstrel, but more likely I'd just be the farmer in town who likes to tell people stories down at the pub.
This is one of the qualities that defines who I am in the universe. There are others, but lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Once you find one of these qualities in yourself, you have discovered how to make yourself happy.
I tell my stories, preferably to an audience, but even to myself is enough to satisfy me.
Once you have one of these qualities figured out, next define your place in the universe by the company you keep. Think about the 5 people you spend the most time with. Those people in certain ways are reflections of you. You keep them around because they have qualities that you like, and these are most likely qualities that you have in yourself.
Try to isolate these qualities and you will discover further definitions of yourself.
One of my 5 most seen friends is a man who loves to start shit. He revels in making people uncomfortable and saying the outrageous.
Upon reflection, I see that to a lesser degree, I am much the same. I get joy from making certain people uncomfortable, I love causing trouble that I know won't affect me or anyone I care about in a significant way.
This is all you need in life, figure out what defines you and you will figure out what makes you happy.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Fuck you Sam Raimi
Ok, we all know the horrible Mr. Raimi (henceforth to be referred to as "Sinner Sam").
Sinner Sam is the one who brought us such great movies as Evil Dead, and the First Spider-Man movie.
He also brought us the never ending supply of crap that was Hercules, Xena, Young Hercules, Cleopatra 2525, Jack of All Trades, and Spider-man 3.
The master of disaster now has a new serving of shit that he wants to present to us for dinner:
Spider-Man 4.
Yea, fuck that.
If that wasn't bad enough, Sinner Sam is also involved with a "Venom" spin-off.
That's it folks.
We did it for Uwe Boll, we can do it for Sinner Sam.
It's time to force him into retirement. He clearly needs to stop making movies. The only exception would be the occasional Bruce Campbell feature.
Hollywood as a whole needs to stop making Terrible concept programming.
For example:
There is a new show on NBC called "Kings". Nobody watched it, but it was a modern day telling of the story of "David and Goliath".
Yea, and they wondered why it tanked.
And apparently Nicholas Cage wants to do "Ghostrider 2".
No, sorry, fuck you Cage. I suffered through the first one, you are not getting my money a second time.
Each time I hear about a movie it's like Im being shown what months in the future that I will be avoiding the theater like a fat guy avoids a gym.
Fuck you Hollywood, Im revoking your "Entertain America" rights.
From now on, Public user content online, that's the way of the future. Atleast when we watch user-created content, we've got a good impression that it'll be bad, getting sucker punched by Sinner Sam is just not acceptable.
Sinner Sam is the one who brought us such great movies as Evil Dead, and the First Spider-Man movie.
He also brought us the never ending supply of crap that was Hercules, Xena, Young Hercules, Cleopatra 2525, Jack of All Trades, and Spider-man 3.
The master of disaster now has a new serving of shit that he wants to present to us for dinner:
Spider-Man 4.
Yea, fuck that.
If that wasn't bad enough, Sinner Sam is also involved with a "Venom" spin-off.
That's it folks.
We did it for Uwe Boll, we can do it for Sinner Sam.
It's time to force him into retirement. He clearly needs to stop making movies. The only exception would be the occasional Bruce Campbell feature.
Hollywood as a whole needs to stop making Terrible concept programming.
For example:
There is a new show on NBC called "Kings". Nobody watched it, but it was a modern day telling of the story of "David and Goliath".
Yea, and they wondered why it tanked.
And apparently Nicholas Cage wants to do "Ghostrider 2".
No, sorry, fuck you Cage. I suffered through the first one, you are not getting my money a second time.
Each time I hear about a movie it's like Im being shown what months in the future that I will be avoiding the theater like a fat guy avoids a gym.
Fuck you Hollywood, Im revoking your "Entertain America" rights.
From now on, Public user content online, that's the way of the future. Atleast when we watch user-created content, we've got a good impression that it'll be bad, getting sucker punched by Sinner Sam is just not acceptable.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Fist full of assholes.
Also known as "Nick and Norah's infinite supply of shitty music".
If you were thinking about seeing this movie, one word. Don't.
The movie follows two heterosexuals (nick and norah), a trio of gay musicians, and a drunk mess as they wander the New York club scene in search of their favorite band's hidden show. During the movie Nick and Norah have to dodge their exes and deal with old drama while the entire time retaining their douchebag status.
Making the movie even more confusing is the ambigious ages of the cast. They clearly have no curfew, as most of them are running around New York at four in the morning, but early on half of the cast is portrayed as attending high school.
This devolves the movie into "jailbait scene kids getting drunk and causing havok".
This movie makes me want to kick babies. If this is the way of the future and all teen romantic comedies are going to be like this Im gonna save some time and destroy my TV now.
The only aspect of the movie that was amusing was the huge series of coincidences throughout.
Norah's Dad is a huge record Exec, so her and her friends get in for free at any and all clubs.
The trio of gay men are a walking cliche' as they instantly notice that Norah is attracted to Nick, and always recommend that Nick does the right thing, while always doing the wrong thing themselves.
The complete absence of cops or any other sort of authority figure in the entire movie. It's a movie about high school kids, yet there are no parents, teachers, cops, et all in the entire movie.
Norah's hot friend Caroline and her amazing ability to remain drunk and get herself into more and more trouble. That woman should have sobered up halfway through the movie, yet she never did.
Caroline's gum, that she chews for hours, vomits into a public toilet, retrives, continues chewing, gives to norah who chews it, who then gives to nick who also chews it. That's gotta be the weirdest thing of the movie.
There you go, I have suffered through this movie and explained it to you, so you wouldn't need to suffer yourselves. I expect christmas cards and cookies in return.
If you were thinking about seeing this movie, one word. Don't.
The movie follows two heterosexuals (nick and norah), a trio of gay musicians, and a drunk mess as they wander the New York club scene in search of their favorite band's hidden show. During the movie Nick and Norah have to dodge their exes and deal with old drama while the entire time retaining their douchebag status.
Making the movie even more confusing is the ambigious ages of the cast. They clearly have no curfew, as most of them are running around New York at four in the morning, but early on half of the cast is portrayed as attending high school.
This devolves the movie into "jailbait scene kids getting drunk and causing havok".
This movie makes me want to kick babies. If this is the way of the future and all teen romantic comedies are going to be like this Im gonna save some time and destroy my TV now.
The only aspect of the movie that was amusing was the huge series of coincidences throughout.
Norah's Dad is a huge record Exec, so her and her friends get in for free at any and all clubs.
The trio of gay men are a walking cliche' as they instantly notice that Norah is attracted to Nick, and always recommend that Nick does the right thing, while always doing the wrong thing themselves.
The complete absence of cops or any other sort of authority figure in the entire movie. It's a movie about high school kids, yet there are no parents, teachers, cops, et all in the entire movie.
Norah's hot friend Caroline and her amazing ability to remain drunk and get herself into more and more trouble. That woman should have sobered up halfway through the movie, yet she never did.
Caroline's gum, that she chews for hours, vomits into a public toilet, retrives, continues chewing, gives to norah who chews it, who then gives to nick who also chews it. That's gotta be the weirdest thing of the movie.
There you go, I have suffered through this movie and explained it to you, so you wouldn't need to suffer yourselves. I expect christmas cards and cookies in return.
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