Ok, Thats enough old content for now. I have a couple more I am saving for next time I fail to deliver an article on time.
Time for new content.
Cheaters and the cheating cheats they cheat for.
Most people who actively date have been cheated on, atleast once.
Some times it's something relatively innocent like "We got drunk and woke up naked next to eachother." Not something to be proud of, but forgivable.
Then there is the brain/hammer pairing of people who demand attention at all times, and people foolish enough to give them attention.
Monogamy is a feature that most people assume in a relationship. Unless specified to the contrary, it is expected to always be faithful to the person you are seeing. Even if you are only casually dating, it's still bad form to be dating more than one person at a time.
But people time and again fall into this habit of cheating. It seems to be specific people, not a universal quality. So a person who cheats on one significant other, is highly likely to cheat on another. This has gotten to the point where it should be a lie-detector test for first dates.
"Hi! Have you ever cheated on a significant other? Yes? Ok, we're done here. Have a nice life."
I shit you not, that one question, answered honestly would save people months of drama. Honestly, I feel cheaters should only be allowed to date other cheaters. If you feel that you deserve to have a woman on the side, any woman you date should feel the same entitlement.
Those of us who manage to resist the urge to stray can hang out in the drama-free zone and enjoy our stable commitments. We can enjoy our relationships that end safely without adultery.
The most horrible thing about cheaters is this:
They don't care enough about the other person to tell them that they are seeing other people. People who cheat, clearly care more about themselves than about their partner. That's not love, that's serial lust. These people go through the motions of monogamy so they can get in the bedroom, but have no interest in remaining monogamous.
These people suck, and should go live in a leper colony.
(yes, I do believe that cheaters can reform from their ways, I just don't find it likely)
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I kinda wonder if this is an issue of monogamously inclined vs. poly-inclined and the 'cheaters' don't have a real name or outlet for it so they just keep trying to mold themselves to the monogamous lifestyle a lot of the time?
ReplyDeleteNo i think Poly vs. Monogamous doesn't really apply here. Because it's not the actual sexual act that is the problem, it's the fact that it's kept secret. It's specifically people who break trust. Like as far as I can recall, people in poly relationships still have their list of allowed partners and/or a list of people their partner's prefer them not to sleep with. So for example, if you specifically do not like one of your partner's ex-girlfriends, and your partner goes and sleeps with them after you've requested that they not. That would be a similar break in trust. (not the same as an exclusive relationship, but as close as you can get in a poly relationship)
ReplyDeleteNot saying it applies in all cases, but it may apply in some. People who are generally dishonest will probably cheat in poly situations too, but some may end up feeling more comfortable if they understand the parameters and workings of poly. Most ppl don't have that info available to them, and most people don't know about the poly lifetyle, either, I would guess.
ReplyDeletemeh, I think that poly is so thoroughly covered by TV these days that it's harder to find someone who doesn't know about poly than to find someone who does. People are atleast aware of the lifestyle.
ReplyDelete