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Protip: folks. The key to finding happiness is finding your place in the universe.

This is not as hard as it may seem.

This process does not mean you need to find your "calling" the one and only job that will make you happy for the rest of your life. Not everyone can be James Bond, nor would everyone really want to.

The trick is to find the qualities that you feel define yourself.

I am a story teller. I may for part of my life tell stories for a living, but I will continue to tell them regardless of whether people pay me. In Olden times I might have been a bard or a traveling minstrel, but more likely I'd just be the farmer in town who likes to tell people stories down at the pub.

This is one of the qualities that defines who I am in the universe. There are others, but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Once you find one of these qualities in yourself, you have discovered how to make yourself happy.

I tell my stories, preferably to an audience, but even to myself is enough to satisfy me.

Once you have one of these qualities figured out, next define your place in the universe by the company you keep. Think about the 5 people you spend the most time with. Those people in certain ways are reflections of you. You keep them around because they have qualities that you like, and these are most likely qualities that you have in yourself.

Try to isolate these qualities and you will discover further definitions of yourself.
One of my 5 most seen friends is a man who loves to start shit. He revels in making people uncomfortable and saying the outrageous.

Upon reflection, I see that to a lesser degree, I am much the same. I get joy from making certain people uncomfortable, I love causing trouble that I know won't affect me or anyone I care about in a significant way.

This is all you need in life, figure out what defines you and you will figure out what makes you happy.

Fuck you Sam Raimi

Ok, we all know the horrible Mr. Raimi (henceforth to be referred to as "Sinner Sam").

Sinner Sam is the one who brought us such great movies as Evil Dead, and the First Spider-Man movie.

He also brought us the never ending supply of crap that was Hercules, Xena, Young Hercules, Cleopatra 2525, Jack of All Trades, and Spider-man 3.

The master of disaster now has a new serving of shit that he wants to present to us for dinner:
Spider-Man 4.

Yea, fuck that.

If that wasn't bad enough, Sinner Sam is also involved with a "Venom" spin-off.

That's it folks.
We did it for Uwe Boll, we can do it for Sinner Sam.

It's time to force him into retirement. He clearly needs to stop making movies. The only exception would be the occasional Bruce Campbell feature.

Hollywood as a whole needs to stop making Terrible concept programming.

For example:
There is a new show on NBC called "Kings". Nobody watched it, but it was a modern day telling of the story of "David and Goliath".

Yea, and they wondered why it tanked.

And apparently Nicholas Cage wants to do "Ghostrider 2".

No, sorry, fuck you Cage. I suffered through the first one, you are not getting my money a second time.

Each time I hear about a movie it's like Im being shown what months in the future that I will be avoiding the theater like a fat guy avoids a gym.

Fuck you Hollywood, Im revoking your "Entertain America" rights.

From now on, Public user content online, that's the way of the future. Atleast when we watch user-created content, we've got a good impression that it'll be bad, getting sucker punched by Sinner Sam is just not acceptable.

Fist full of assholes.

Also known as "Nick and Norah's infinite supply of shitty music".

If you were thinking about seeing this movie, one word. Don't.

The movie follows two heterosexuals (nick and norah), a trio of gay musicians, and a drunk mess as they wander the New York club scene in search of their favorite band's hidden show. During the movie Nick and Norah have to dodge their exes and deal with old drama while the entire time retaining their douchebag status.

Making the movie even more confusing is the ambigious ages of the cast. They clearly have no curfew, as most of them are running around New York at four in the morning, but early on half of the cast is portrayed as attending high school.

This devolves the movie into "jailbait scene kids getting drunk and causing havok".

This movie makes me want to kick babies. If this is the way of the future and all teen romantic comedies are going to be like this Im gonna save some time and destroy my TV now.

The only aspect of the movie that was amusing was the huge series of coincidences throughout.

Norah's Dad is a huge record Exec, so her and her friends get in for free at any and all clubs.

The trio of gay men are a walking cliche' as they instantly notice that Norah is attracted to Nick, and always recommend that Nick does the right thing, while always doing the wrong thing themselves.

The complete absence of cops or any other sort of authority figure in the entire movie. It's a movie about high school kids, yet there are no parents, teachers, cops, et all in the entire movie.

Norah's hot friend Caroline and her amazing ability to remain drunk and get herself into more and more trouble. That woman should have sobered up halfway through the movie, yet she never did.

Caroline's gum, that she chews for hours, vomits into a public toilet, retrives, continues chewing, gives to norah who chews it, who then gives to nick who also chews it. That's gotta be the weirdest thing of the movie.

There you go, I have suffered through this movie and explained it to you, so you wouldn't need to suffer yourselves. I expect christmas cards and cookies in return.