My E-penis is a bigger graphic than yours.

Hello readers, Thursday again, time to discuss another exciting example of human retardation.

The E-Penis. Similar to the Car-Penis or the Yacht-penis, this is the Internet of braggery.
In every social circle there will be a number of people, usually men, who feel insecure about the size of their E-penis and feel they need to brag about it and/or put down others to build themselves up.

In video games it comes about usually in voice chat where players discuss how heavily they "Pwned some nubs" etc.

This practice is beyond stupid.

Not only does it signify the same bullying and mockery that most of us supposedly grew out of in puberty, it also is made more pathetic by the fact that none of the qualities or skills being bragged about are really worth a damn.

Hopping on World of Warcraft and saying "My epic geared warlock could totally own your poorly geared rogue, assuming I got the drop on you and the wind was blowing from the west" is like saying I could jump 9 feet into the air assuming I had a trampoline. Anyone could do it in the same circumstances. PVP in any video game isn't really about skill, it's about a number of specific qualities that person being mocked has no control over.:
1. Their memory of the battlezone in question. If this is their first time and their opponent spends 7 hours a day in that zone, they will lose.
2. Computer/console quality and latency. This is the worst case of superiority because they beat other people due to computer lag, not skill or even gear.
3. Gear. If your gear is better than your opponent, that doesn't make you more skilled, that proves that you have less of a life and more time to devote to farming gear.

Over all, none of these qualities prove you are any more skilled than anyone else. Even Being especially good at Raid content does not prove you are any better than anyone else. It means you follow instructions well, follow the strategy for the bosses, and follow your ability rotation.

The only example of real skill I've seen in video games is the ability to pull victory from the jaws of defeat. Winning a PVP battle when your opponent is better geared than you, winning pvp when you are heavily out-numbered, etc.
Even in Raids, Preventing what would otherwise be safely assumed a wipe, that takes skill, and a hefty amount of luck. These moments should be celebrated and those responsible for the save should be congratulated.

But that is video games, and Video games are in nature a competition.

What is truly pathetic is when people demand to show off their E-penis in completly invalid or unrelated moments.
People who try to prove how smart they are by looking up something on wikipedia and proving somebody on youtube wrong.

You aren't smarter than them, you merely know how to operate a search engine.

The major problem I have with this practice is the pointless nature of it. The only people who actually care about the size of your E-penis are the people who want to show that it's smaller than theirs. None of the rest of us give a shit.
I want their to be a specific channel in all video games and post/response sites for braggery. These people can be free to spam "I pwned u Newb" as much as they want, but we don't have to see it unless we join the channel. Then impose a silence feature for anyone caught spamming normal communication channels with their bragging/mocking.
Hell, If we could figure a way to do it, I'd say we should mount shock collars on anyone caught doing this.

But I doubt people would agree to it.

Savor your victories, mourn your defeats, but don't get the rest of us involved in it if we don't want to be.